Hillbilly Medical Terms

Benignwhat you be after your eight

Bacteriaback door to cafeteria

Bariumwhat you do with dead folks

Cesarean sectiona neighborhood in Rome

Catscan- searching for the cat

Cauterize- made eye contact with her

Colica sheep dog

Coma- a punctuation mark

D&Cwhere Washington is

Dilate- to live longer than your kids do

Enemanot a friend

Festerquicker than someone else

Fibula- a small lie

G.I. seriesworld series of military baseball

Hangnailwhat you hang your coat on

Hospitalthe biggest building on town, other than Joe's feed warehouse or Franks lumber mill

Impotentdistinguished, well known


Labor paingetting hurt at work

Medical Staffa doctor's cane, sometimes shown with a snake

Morbida higher offer than I bid

Nitratescheaper than day rates

NodeI knew it

Outpatienta person who has fainted

Pap smeara fatherhood test

Pelvissecond cousin to Elvis

Post Operative- a letter carrier

Recovery Roomplace to do upholstery

Secretion- hiding something

SeizureRoman emperor who lived in the Cesarean Section

Tableta small table to change babies on

Terminal Illnessgetting sick at the train

TumorMore than one

UrineOpposite of mine; also opposite of you're out.

Varicosenear by.