Weird Facts &  Jokes

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• Coca-Cola was originally green.
• More money is printed daily for Monopoly than the US Treasury.
• Hong Kong has more Rolls Royces per capita than any other city.
• The state with the highest percent of people that walk to work is in Alaska.

Points to Ponder

Why is the third hand on watches called the second hand?

How would you know if a word is misspelled in the dictionary?

If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?

Actual Classified Ads from Newspapers

• 2 WIRE MESH BUTCHERING GLOVES: 1 5-finger, 1 3-finger, PAIR $15
• COWS FOR SALE. NEVER BRED CALVES. ALSO 1 GAY BULL FOR SALE.
• NORDIC TRACK $300 HARDLY USED, CALL CHUBBY
• HUMMELS - LARGEST SELECTION EVER "IF IT'S IN STOCK, WE HAVE IT!"
• GEORGIA PEACHES. CALIFORNIA GROWN 89 CENTS LB.
• NICE PARACHUTE: NEVER OPENED - USED ONCE.
• OPEN HOUSE BODY SHAPERS TONING SALON. FREE COFFEE AND DONUTS.
• HARRISBURG POSTAL EMPLOYEES GUN CLUB.

<This is how you can tell if your mouse is dead.

Ideal car for women shoppers!

Only in America

• Can you get a pizza faster than an ambulance.

• Are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.

• Do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

• Do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

• Do banks leave both doors open then chain the pens to the counters.

• Do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

• Do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

• Do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

• Do we use the word "politics" to describe the process which, in Latin, means many bloddsucking creatures.

• Do we have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

Ever Wonder?

• Why sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

• Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

• Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

• Why "abbreviated" is such a long word?

• Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?

• Why you have to click Start to stop Windows?

• Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

• Why the man who invests all your money called a broker?

• Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

• Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

• When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tastes it?

• Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

• Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

• Why don't they make the entire plane out of the indestructible material that black boxes are made out of?

• If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

• If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

Consumer Labels

Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.

Fritos:  You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.

Dial soap:  Use like regular soap.

Swanson frozen dinner:  Serving suggestion: Defrost.

Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: Do not turn upside down. (printed on bottom!)

Rowenta iron: Do not iron clothes on body.

Boot's Children's Cough Medicine:   Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this mediction.

Nytol Sleep Aid: Warning: May cause drowsiness.

Christmas lights (several brands): For indoor or outdoor use only.

Japanese food processor: Not to be used for the other use.

Sunsbury peanuts: Waning: contains peanuts.

American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts.

Superman costume for children: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.

Swedish chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.

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